As I am mentally preparing to begin a new school year, I am reflecting on a large banner that I created for my classroom--to remind me why I do what I do (when I'm feeling "less than loving" toward one of my students) .
This is the quote: "Every child you encounter is a divine appointment." It is by some random person I don't know called Wess Stafford. Personally, I don't like the grammar--I would have said "Every encounter with a child is a divine appointment," but I guess that's beside the point.
I think it is also accurate to say that every encounter with a person is a divine appointment, don't you? I do not believe for a second that we serve a God of the random. I believe that there is a divine purpose in every situation and person we encounter. Some relationships are a deep blessing--they bring us so much joy and encouragement. We just get to soak up the love, comfort, and support of these relationships. There are bumps in the road, as there are with any relationship, but we can work through them. In fact, they help to strengthen the relationship. These people are our "safe" people. I have a few "safe people" in my life. They genuinely love me, accept me for who I am, and gently nudge me (or sometimes push me!) to continually grow in one area or another. These people are like precious diamonds in my life, and my life would be extremely empty without them. I am so grateful to God for these relationships.
Some relationships could be described as mentoring--either God has called us to mentor someone or God has called someone to mentor us. There is something God wants us to teach someone (spiritually or otherwise) or something God wants us to learn from someone. I have two friends who, ironically, have never been parents, but have given me incredibly wise parenting advice over the years. They have been my "go-to" people when I need some wise and spiritual parenting advice. I also have a friend who admires and respects my relationship with God and will seek me out for spiritual wisdom when she needs it. If a new teacher would like some advice and support, I am more than happy to share what I have learned over the years. I would miss these relationships, but they are not as critical as my "safe people." Except, of course, my children--God has chosen me to mentor them and my life would be extremely empty without them as well.
The last group that I want to talk about is the people God brings whom we would consider "unlovable." These are the people we would rather not have in our life. I have a few of those. They're the ones I try to avoid as much as possible, the ones in whose company I feel VERY emotionally UNSAFE, the ones who are all about head games, constant conflict, manipulation, etc. Sometimes they feel like our enemies. Sometimes they ARE our enemies. Ironically, these are the people who force me to grow and stretch me the most. Being around them requires deep emotional strength and a keen awareness of their tactics and underhanded strategies. Frankly, they drain me emotionally and mentally. It is extremely difficult to see them as "divine appointments," yet I understand intellectually that God has placed them in my life on purpose.
A more mature Christian would not avoid them as much as possible like I do. I remember years ago when God first began to speak to me about my strong resistance and dislike for people I considered unlovable. To this day, I cringe when I read Luke 6:27-36 because I have made very little progress in this area: I pray for them SOMETIMES, but I certainly do not "do good" to them or make the smallest effort to bless them in any way.
Usually God will begin to help me see some reasons for their destructive behavior, and I can temporarily muster up some compassion for them. I can definitely say that it must be terrible to be stuck in their head, with all that negativity, bitterness, pain, and manipulation constantly swirling in their brain. They have no rest from their relentless, internal turmoil. But the compassion is short-lived. The frustration sets in very quickly again, and I distance myself.
Maybe I can start small: I can commit to praying for them every day, AND I can challenge myself sometimes not to actively avoid them--to leave the encounters to God, and pray that He will help me to see it as a personal challenge from Him to grow in this area. Maybe I can do that for six months and see how God has used these relationships to help me in some way that I cannot anticipate right now. Right now, all these relationships seem to bring me is turmoil and strife.
Here is the Scripture passage that makes me cringe because of my disobedience:
This is the quote: "Every child you encounter is a divine appointment." It is by some random person I don't know called Wess Stafford. Personally, I don't like the grammar--I would have said "Every encounter with a child is a divine appointment," but I guess that's beside the point.
I think it is also accurate to say that every encounter with a person is a divine appointment, don't you? I do not believe for a second that we serve a God of the random. I believe that there is a divine purpose in every situation and person we encounter. Some relationships are a deep blessing--they bring us so much joy and encouragement. We just get to soak up the love, comfort, and support of these relationships. There are bumps in the road, as there are with any relationship, but we can work through them. In fact, they help to strengthen the relationship. These people are our "safe" people. I have a few "safe people" in my life. They genuinely love me, accept me for who I am, and gently nudge me (or sometimes push me!) to continually grow in one area or another. These people are like precious diamonds in my life, and my life would be extremely empty without them. I am so grateful to God for these relationships.
Some relationships could be described as mentoring--either God has called us to mentor someone or God has called someone to mentor us. There is something God wants us to teach someone (spiritually or otherwise) or something God wants us to learn from someone. I have two friends who, ironically, have never been parents, but have given me incredibly wise parenting advice over the years. They have been my "go-to" people when I need some wise and spiritual parenting advice. I also have a friend who admires and respects my relationship with God and will seek me out for spiritual wisdom when she needs it. If a new teacher would like some advice and support, I am more than happy to share what I have learned over the years. I would miss these relationships, but they are not as critical as my "safe people." Except, of course, my children--God has chosen me to mentor them and my life would be extremely empty without them as well.
The last group that I want to talk about is the people God brings whom we would consider "unlovable." These are the people we would rather not have in our life. I have a few of those. They're the ones I try to avoid as much as possible, the ones in whose company I feel VERY emotionally UNSAFE, the ones who are all about head games, constant conflict, manipulation, etc. Sometimes they feel like our enemies. Sometimes they ARE our enemies. Ironically, these are the people who force me to grow and stretch me the most. Being around them requires deep emotional strength and a keen awareness of their tactics and underhanded strategies. Frankly, they drain me emotionally and mentally. It is extremely difficult to see them as "divine appointments," yet I understand intellectually that God has placed them in my life on purpose.
A more mature Christian would not avoid them as much as possible like I do. I remember years ago when God first began to speak to me about my strong resistance and dislike for people I considered unlovable. To this day, I cringe when I read Luke 6:27-36 because I have made very little progress in this area: I pray for them SOMETIMES, but I certainly do not "do good" to them or make the smallest effort to bless them in any way.
Usually God will begin to help me see some reasons for their destructive behavior, and I can temporarily muster up some compassion for them. I can definitely say that it must be terrible to be stuck in their head, with all that negativity, bitterness, pain, and manipulation constantly swirling in their brain. They have no rest from their relentless, internal turmoil. But the compassion is short-lived. The frustration sets in very quickly again, and I distance myself.
Maybe I can start small: I can commit to praying for them every day, AND I can challenge myself sometimes not to actively avoid them--to leave the encounters to God, and pray that He will help me to see it as a personal challenge from Him to grow in this area. Maybe I can do that for six months and see how God has used these relationships to help me in some way that I cannot anticipate right now. Right now, all these relationships seem to bring me is turmoil and strife.
Here is the Scripture passage that makes me cringe because of my disobedience:
Love for Enemies
27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full.35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
There is also a quote from Maya Angelou that is a powerful reminder to me as a teacher responsible for the children in my classroom:“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
So true, huh? I cringe at the reality that my memory might leave former students with a sour taste in their mouth.
To finish off today, just one of my latest "go-to" songs. This song helps keep me focused on Him, not on my problems.
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