First of all, I apologize in advance for this L-O-N-G post.
Because I'm currently in "denial mode," I'm having a hard time deciding how to begin this post. I guess the beginning is a very good place to start (as Julie Andrews so eloquently stated in The Sound of Music). A little over a year ago, my mother very generously offered to give Ashley Italian lessons. If she did well in learning Italian, my parents would take her to Italy in August of 2007 for a family reunion. Well, of course my bright child did well, and she persevered through many hours of lessons on Saturday mornings instead of sleeping in.
So ... fast forward to August 2007. Yeah, she left yesterday morning (along with my parents and uncle) on a plane to Italy. And yes, there was a very selfish part of me that wanted to hit a last-minute snag at the airport and take her back home with me :( but she got on the airplane and is in Italy enjoying herself as I write this. She will be back at 9:00 p.m. on Tuesday, August 21--not that I'm keeping track or anything ;).
So ... now for the good part. I had not mentioned anything in previous blogs because as I said, I'm in denial. This is huge for me. Very hard. And I won't go into details. Obviously it feels weird. Because this is hard, I couldn't make myself pray regularly for her, God's will, and this trip. I did, but just not regularly.
Well, last week, I finally started praying regularly. Saturday morning I started praying even before I got out of bed. And all of a sudden, the Lord gave me a Scripture to give her to calm her nerves (she was starting to get very worried and nervous about being away from home and in a new country). So I ran to get a tablet and write it down (just the reference). Then, I just kept getting more and more Scriptures. And I was frantically writing the references down in my tablet to give her later. We went to Newport Beach, and the whole way I was in the car organizing the Scriptures into categories. When I was done in the water, I went back to the tablet and Bible and started writing how each verse specifically applied to her situation (going to Italy). Then I started writing a letter and including all the Scriptures for her. I was just in awe, honestly, at how quickly God was working. He then showed me that I was to give her the "packet" of Scriptures just before we parted ways at the airport. It took everything in me not to tell her ahead of time.
As if that wasn't enough spiritual "wow", the evening before she left (Monday night), she began getting very worried and asking a lot of "What if ... " questions. And God blew me away again. I've never experienced anything like it. For every single question--every one--God gave me a Scripture. It was a pattern. Ashley asked the question. God beamed me the Scripture. I said, "Well, let's see what God says about that," and opened the Bible to the exact verse that addressed her question. Honestly it was the most powerful witnessing I've ever done in my life. And it brought tears to my eyes that I got to minister to my daughter that way ... that God chose me, a very cracked, stained, scratched-up vessel (you can ask my husband how cracked, etc. I am, lol!), to pump my daughter up with God's Word before she left my care for three weeks. God knew what she needed and He used me to give it to her. Coolest feeling in the world. And the most humbling feeling.
The Holy Spirit showed me that He was "arming her" for the next few weeks without us. And that during these three weeks, she's going to learn to rely on Him. That she won't be able to rely on mom and dad for her security, reassurance, comfort, etc., so she's going to begin to learn to trust Him. Those Scriptures will be her comfort and reassurance. So I'm excited to see the spiritual changes in her when she comes back.
I spoke to her this morning for just a couple of minutes and I could tell her spirits were up. She is really excited to be there and is enjoying herself so far. She hasn't done any "touristy" things yet. She and my mom took a nap at the hotel, and when she got off the phone with me (it was 9:00 p.m there) they were going to visit a cousin and her nineteen-year-old son.
So, I am arming myself with a lot of the same Scriptures and plenty of praise music to keep a positive perspective. And I'm trying not to think about it a lot.
And another HUGE thing: she has my camera, so for three weeks I won't be able to take pictures. I'm so bummed. Yesterday I wanted to take pictures twice and remembered that is not possible. Today I want to take a picture of me and my hubby for our anniversary, but that is not possible. I looked for a digital disposable camera (I think they make them), but didn't see any at the store I looked. But I'll keep looking. I don't think I can actually make it for three weeks "sans camera" without serious withdrawls. But it has to be digital. I know, I'm such an addict, huh?
Edit: This is a layout I put on my desktop last night to remind me to trust God. It's full of Scriptures about fear. I put her in the middle to symbolize that she's surrounded by Scripture and God on her trip.
Credits: Michelle Coleman "Simply Spring" Mini Kit, inspired by a layout by Hollie
I'm going back to denial mode now. Ciao! (that's "chow," as in "bye" or "hi" in Italian)
Because I'm currently in "denial mode," I'm having a hard time deciding how to begin this post. I guess the beginning is a very good place to start (as Julie Andrews so eloquently stated in The Sound of Music). A little over a year ago, my mother very generously offered to give Ashley Italian lessons. If she did well in learning Italian, my parents would take her to Italy in August of 2007 for a family reunion. Well, of course my bright child did well, and she persevered through many hours of lessons on Saturday mornings instead of sleeping in.
So ... fast forward to August 2007. Yeah, she left yesterday morning (along with my parents and uncle) on a plane to Italy. And yes, there was a very selfish part of me that wanted to hit a last-minute snag at the airport and take her back home with me :( but she got on the airplane and is in Italy enjoying herself as I write this. She will be back at 9:00 p.m. on Tuesday, August 21--not that I'm keeping track or anything ;).
So ... now for the good part. I had not mentioned anything in previous blogs because as I said, I'm in denial. This is huge for me. Very hard. And I won't go into details. Obviously it feels weird. Because this is hard, I couldn't make myself pray regularly for her, God's will, and this trip. I did, but just not regularly.
Well, last week, I finally started praying regularly. Saturday morning I started praying even before I got out of bed. And all of a sudden, the Lord gave me a Scripture to give her to calm her nerves (she was starting to get very worried and nervous about being away from home and in a new country). So I ran to get a tablet and write it down (just the reference). Then, I just kept getting more and more Scriptures. And I was frantically writing the references down in my tablet to give her later. We went to Newport Beach, and the whole way I was in the car organizing the Scriptures into categories. When I was done in the water, I went back to the tablet and Bible and started writing how each verse specifically applied to her situation (going to Italy). Then I started writing a letter and including all the Scriptures for her. I was just in awe, honestly, at how quickly God was working. He then showed me that I was to give her the "packet" of Scriptures just before we parted ways at the airport. It took everything in me not to tell her ahead of time.
As if that wasn't enough spiritual "wow", the evening before she left (Monday night), she began getting very worried and asking a lot of "What if ... " questions. And God blew me away again. I've never experienced anything like it. For every single question--every one--God gave me a Scripture. It was a pattern. Ashley asked the question. God beamed me the Scripture. I said, "Well, let's see what God says about that," and opened the Bible to the exact verse that addressed her question. Honestly it was the most powerful witnessing I've ever done in my life. And it brought tears to my eyes that I got to minister to my daughter that way ... that God chose me, a very cracked, stained, scratched-up vessel (you can ask my husband how cracked, etc. I am, lol!), to pump my daughter up with God's Word before she left my care for three weeks. God knew what she needed and He used me to give it to her. Coolest feeling in the world. And the most humbling feeling.
The Holy Spirit showed me that He was "arming her" for the next few weeks without us. And that during these three weeks, she's going to learn to rely on Him. That she won't be able to rely on mom and dad for her security, reassurance, comfort, etc., so she's going to begin to learn to trust Him. Those Scriptures will be her comfort and reassurance. So I'm excited to see the spiritual changes in her when she comes back.
I spoke to her this morning for just a couple of minutes and I could tell her spirits were up. She is really excited to be there and is enjoying herself so far. She hasn't done any "touristy" things yet. She and my mom took a nap at the hotel, and when she got off the phone with me (it was 9:00 p.m there) they were going to visit a cousin and her nineteen-year-old son.
So, I am arming myself with a lot of the same Scriptures and plenty of praise music to keep a positive perspective. And I'm trying not to think about it a lot.
And another HUGE thing: she has my camera, so for three weeks I won't be able to take pictures. I'm so bummed. Yesterday I wanted to take pictures twice and remembered that is not possible. Today I want to take a picture of me and my hubby for our anniversary, but that is not possible. I looked for a digital disposable camera (I think they make them), but didn't see any at the store I looked. But I'll keep looking. I don't think I can actually make it for three weeks "sans camera" without serious withdrawls. But it has to be digital. I know, I'm such an addict, huh?
Edit: This is a layout I put on my desktop last night to remind me to trust God. It's full of Scriptures about fear. I put her in the middle to symbolize that she's surrounded by Scripture and God on her trip.
Credits: Michelle Coleman "Simply Spring" Mini Kit, inspired by a layout by HollieI'm going back to denial mode now. Ciao! (that's "chow," as in "bye" or "hi" in Italian)
Comments
I will miss the pics on your blog but I can not wait to see the ones that she takes. Tell her hello from Donna when you chat with her next.
Buon journo... how do you spell that?
Carmela, you are so in tune to the Holy Spirit and I am inspired by how you so willingly act upon its promptness! Something I strive for!