I've always been one of those people who would much rather do a favor for someone than be on the receiving end of the favor. I have the hardest time with "grace" and "mercy." I never want to be indebted to anyone.
I have learned over the past few years, however, that in refusing help I am also robbing someone of the joy of blessing me and/or my family. So I have been working very hard at graciously accepting help and seeing the offered help as God's provision.
When I stopped teaching three years ago, so did the benefits. My husband has benefits through his job (he works in his brother-in-law's three dental clinics), so we obviously signed up for that. However, the dental benefits are different. The employee gets full dental coverage for everything. The family gets 50% off the cash price. Needless to say, that's still expensive.
So, prideful me has not been able to swallow enough pride to get a check-up (these past three years) because I know my brother-in-law will refuse payment of any kind. And "we" cannot accept such a huge favor. That goes way above and beyond the "normal" kinds of favors that people do for you.
Finally this weekend I swallowed barely enough pride to schedule an appointment for today. I went this morning, feeling extremely uncomfortable about the financial issue (and, of course, wondering what "surprises" would be revealed in the x-rays).
So my brother-in-law tells me what needs to be done (and it's a lot). As he starts working on me, I quickly ask him how the payment part is going to work--because I was hoping to be able to convince him to let me pay at least a part of it. His response? Without skipping a beat: "Shut up." I didn't know whether he was half joking or if he was honestly offended. Then he went on to tell me, "You married a Filipino. This is how we are. Get used to it. We're family." I was trying to come up with some convincing words (so he would accept some kind of payment) when God clearly showed me that this is His provision for our family, so stop arguing about it and accept it graciously. So I smiled and forced the words, "Thank you" out of my mouth.
All that to say this: why ... why ... is it sooooo hard for some of us to accept favors? I really hope it gets better with time.
I have learned over the past few years, however, that in refusing help I am also robbing someone of the joy of blessing me and/or my family. So I have been working very hard at graciously accepting help and seeing the offered help as God's provision.
When I stopped teaching three years ago, so did the benefits. My husband has benefits through his job (he works in his brother-in-law's three dental clinics), so we obviously signed up for that. However, the dental benefits are different. The employee gets full dental coverage for everything. The family gets 50% off the cash price. Needless to say, that's still expensive.
So, prideful me has not been able to swallow enough pride to get a check-up (these past three years) because I know my brother-in-law will refuse payment of any kind. And "we" cannot accept such a huge favor. That goes way above and beyond the "normal" kinds of favors that people do for you.
Finally this weekend I swallowed barely enough pride to schedule an appointment for today. I went this morning, feeling extremely uncomfortable about the financial issue (and, of course, wondering what "surprises" would be revealed in the x-rays).
So my brother-in-law tells me what needs to be done (and it's a lot). As he starts working on me, I quickly ask him how the payment part is going to work--because I was hoping to be able to convince him to let me pay at least a part of it. His response? Without skipping a beat: "Shut up." I didn't know whether he was half joking or if he was honestly offended. Then he went on to tell me, "You married a Filipino. This is how we are. Get used to it. We're family." I was trying to come up with some convincing words (so he would accept some kind of payment) when God clearly showed me that this is His provision for our family, so stop arguing about it and accept it graciously. So I smiled and forced the words, "Thank you" out of my mouth.
All that to say this: why ... why ... is it sooooo hard for some of us to accept favors? I really hope it gets better with time.
Comments
So maybe that can be another motto, "Shut up! You're married into God's family. This is how we are. Get used to it!"
We need to "get over ourselves!" Amen!