So why haven't I posted all week? Um, because I've been spending every spare second in deep communion with God. Yeah ... not really. I've just been putting off writing this post. But it's becoming very obvious God is working on me, so I guess I'll share. Can you hear the overwhelming enthusiasm in my voice ??!! Great :-D
Don't you hate to eat humble pie? I've been eating a lot of it the past few months (off and on--God is nice that way: He doesn't give it to us all at once 'cause He knows we'd collapse, lol!). Basically, God is working on my 'tude. Not fun, not pretty, but I'll be better off for it in the long run (and so will the people around me ... HELLO!).
So the epiphany started around April when I went to a women's retreat. In addition to many other things I learned that weekend, I also bought this book: A Woman After God's Own Heart, recommended by a friend. Wow, what an eye-opener about our roles as women, wives, and mothers. At least it was to me. And chock full of practical ideas on how to apply the concepts she discusses.
As I was reading it, it dawned on me that this would be a great book to study with a friend. So I prayed about it, but didn't really feel the Lord leading me in a certain direction. We're all so busy, it's hard to carve out time for stuff like this. So I just kept praying about it--for several months.
Then, out of the blue, I get an email from a friend--not a close friend, just a friend, but someone I definitely wanted to get to know better. She was going to start a study of this book, The Power of a Praying Wife, and wanted to know if anyone was interested in doing it with her. She mentioned that reading it had definitely had a positive impact on her marriage. Honestly, my jaw just dropped. The more I thought about it, the more I believed that this was the answer to my prayers. I asked my husband if he could arrange to be home early on those days, and he agreed with no problem (What a nice guy, huh!).
I have barely read the first chapter and I can't tell you how powerful this book is. The author really makes you stop and be totally, brutally honest with yourself about the areas of "wifehood" that you (i.e. me) need to work to improve. But she also shares some not-so-pretty-stuff about her attitude and mindset the first several years of her marriage so you don't feel like a total loser ;) We are also doing the study guide that goes with the book and you have to answer some pretty tough questions. I highly recommend both books for any wife.
On top of it, I went to our church's Women's Retreat this year and what was the theme? Try "Loving Well"--about loving everyone around us, even the people who drive us nuts and the people who are really hard to get to know. Ewww ... too much work! I feel like whining to God, "Do I have to??" Yet another area of growth I need to work on.
And lest I think I'm doing a great job in growing as a wife and a mother, God makes me eat some more humble pie this week when I totally lost it with Ashley. To say that she gives me a hard time about reviewing her homework would be a major understatement. So I usually am able to hold it together long enough to get through the homework, even though I can feel myself start to lose it. Well one day this week I ignored the warning signs, thinking I could last a few more minutes.
Dumb move. She gave attitude one more time, and I turned into a complete monster. I started screaming like a hibanche (sp?), throwing her homework, and pointing my finger at her. Then I closed her door (I guess, in the interest of honesty, I should say I slammed the door), telling her 'good night' (it was only about 6 or 7 p.m.). Essentially I was "done" for the evening. Even as I was behaving soooo badly, I knew it but I couldn't seem to stop the monster behavior. I completely lost control of myself during those few minutes.
After a couple of hours, I was finally able to humble myself enough to apologize (with the encouragement of my husband). And of course, being the sweet girl she is, she forgave me. But I do wonder if this will have any long-term effects.
It's during times like these I can't wait to get to heaven so I won't have to deal with my bad behavior and attitude anymore. I wish we could just coast through life and not have to go through "growing pains." It's soooo hard to die to self.
I promise I'll try to post something more pleasant tomorrow :) I'm sure I'll think of something :) ... like maybe a kitchen remodel ;)
Don't you hate to eat humble pie? I've been eating a lot of it the past few months (off and on--God is nice that way: He doesn't give it to us all at once 'cause He knows we'd collapse, lol!). Basically, God is working on my 'tude. Not fun, not pretty, but I'll be better off for it in the long run (and so will the people around me ... HELLO!).
So the epiphany started around April when I went to a women's retreat. In addition to many other things I learned that weekend, I also bought this book: A Woman After God's Own Heart, recommended by a friend. Wow, what an eye-opener about our roles as women, wives, and mothers. At least it was to me. And chock full of practical ideas on how to apply the concepts she discusses.
As I was reading it, it dawned on me that this would be a great book to study with a friend. So I prayed about it, but didn't really feel the Lord leading me in a certain direction. We're all so busy, it's hard to carve out time for stuff like this. So I just kept praying about it--for several months.
Then, out of the blue, I get an email from a friend--not a close friend, just a friend, but someone I definitely wanted to get to know better. She was going to start a study of this book, The Power of a Praying Wife, and wanted to know if anyone was interested in doing it with her. She mentioned that reading it had definitely had a positive impact on her marriage. Honestly, my jaw just dropped. The more I thought about it, the more I believed that this was the answer to my prayers. I asked my husband if he could arrange to be home early on those days, and he agreed with no problem (What a nice guy, huh!).
I have barely read the first chapter and I can't tell you how powerful this book is. The author really makes you stop and be totally, brutally honest with yourself about the areas of "wifehood" that you (i.e. me) need to work to improve. But she also shares some not-so-pretty-stuff about her attitude and mindset the first several years of her marriage so you don't feel like a total loser ;) We are also doing the study guide that goes with the book and you have to answer some pretty tough questions. I highly recommend both books for any wife.
On top of it, I went to our church's Women's Retreat this year and what was the theme? Try "Loving Well"--about loving everyone around us, even the people who drive us nuts and the people who are really hard to get to know. Ewww ... too much work! I feel like whining to God, "Do I have to??" Yet another area of growth I need to work on.
And lest I think I'm doing a great job in growing as a wife and a mother, God makes me eat some more humble pie this week when I totally lost it with Ashley. To say that she gives me a hard time about reviewing her homework would be a major understatement. So I usually am able to hold it together long enough to get through the homework, even though I can feel myself start to lose it. Well one day this week I ignored the warning signs, thinking I could last a few more minutes.
Dumb move. She gave attitude one more time, and I turned into a complete monster. I started screaming like a hibanche (sp?), throwing her homework, and pointing my finger at her. Then I closed her door (I guess, in the interest of honesty, I should say I slammed the door), telling her 'good night' (it was only about 6 or 7 p.m.). Essentially I was "done" for the evening. Even as I was behaving soooo badly, I knew it but I couldn't seem to stop the monster behavior. I completely lost control of myself during those few minutes.
After a couple of hours, I was finally able to humble myself enough to apologize (with the encouragement of my husband). And of course, being the sweet girl she is, she forgave me. But I do wonder if this will have any long-term effects.
It's during times like these I can't wait to get to heaven so I won't have to deal with my bad behavior and attitude anymore. I wish we could just coast through life and not have to go through "growing pains." It's soooo hard to die to self.
I promise I'll try to post something more pleasant tomorrow :) I'm sure I'll think of something :) ... like maybe a kitchen remodel ;)
Comments
Just trust that God is at work in you and your entire family. God has all of you in the palm of His Hands. You are wonderfully made and God knows every part of you. Why, He knew that you would need a friend to study your book! And look what he did! How cool is that!
Carmela, I love to read and hear about the way your life is growing. Sometimes we women are all about chatting and laughing with friends. But in "chatting" we sometimes miss the important hearts of the matters. Your blog is a wonderful vehicle for people to get to know you a little better. I really appreciate your forthrightness and your boldness in sharing your life.