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Answering the Call

I was reading Isaiah 6 this morning and I am always so impressed with Isaiah's quick response to God's call.  Verses five through eight always convict me for several reasons.

"So I said:
“Woe is me, for I am undone!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King,
The Lord of hosts.”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth with it, and said:
“Behold, this has touched your lips;
Your iniquity is taken away,
And your sin purged.”
Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:
“Whom shall I send,
And who will go for Us?”
Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

Sometimes I doubt that God is calling me to something.  Like Isaiah, I feel very unclean and unworthy to serve our mighty God.  If I were God, I would pick someone more holy, with a "clean" past, etc.  I would NOT pick me.

Sometimes I know that God is calling me to do something, but it's out of my comfort zone, so like Moses I begin to explain to Him why I am not the right choice.  (I know:  so arrogant.  I even tell myself how arrogant that is, but I cannot stop myself in the moment.)  Usually I allow fear to take over. This summer God gave me a distaste for this destructive pattern in my life and I am going to strive daily to overcome these fears so that God can accomplish His full will in my life.  I have made some progress in that I have accomplished several things around the house that would have intimidated me before.  I am asking God to show me very clearly when I begin to shrink back in fear, especially when He calls me to do something spiritually that I am resisting.

I KNOW that Jesus is my Savior, that He died on the cross for my sins.  I know that the Bible is very clear that when we ask for forgiveness, He is quick to forgive us completely from any wrongdoing. Ezekiel 18:21-22 says

“But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die.  None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live."

I know that is true, yet I struggle with believing it in my heart.  I find it so beautiful that when the angel comes, touches Isaiah's mouth with the piece of coal, and tells him that his iniquity is taken away and his sin is purged, Isaiah just simply believes it and accepts it.  He understands that he now stands holy and righteous before God because his sins have been removed.  I need to be like Isaiah.

Also, as soon as he has been cleansed (with the coal), God asks, "Whom shall I send?"  God doesn't even call Isaiah specifically, and say, "Isaiah, I have a mission for you."  He just sends out a general call (although this was a vision, so I am certain that the call was for Isaiah only).  Isaiah quickly volunteers himself--he doesn't even know what the assignment is; he has purposed in his heart that he will fulfill God's will, whatever that might be. He doesn't allow anxiety or his insecurities to take over.  God needs someone, so he wants to serve his God.

I almost get the sense that he sees it as a privilege to be used by God.  Do you get the same feeling when you read that passage?  He seems EAGER to serve God. I did do one thing this summer that (after the fact when I got positive feedback from it) I did feel like it was a privilege to get to serve Him and bless someone because of what He called me to do.  There is an excellent ministry, and my boss expressed to me that the leader was feeling somewhat discouraged and considering ending this amazing ministry.  I was stunned and grieved.  As I prayed for the leader, I sensed very strongly that God wanted me to write her a letter of encouragement expressing the deep impact that her ministry has had on my son and my school in general.  I delayed several months, but finally did it.  I was scared to write it because I had to be more transparent than I wanted to, but I knew God wanted me to--she needed to hear specific stories of how her ministry touched hearts and changed lives permanently.  I gave it to my boss, and he gave it to her.  He said that it touched her deeply and strengthened and encouraged her.  I was so excited!!  At that moment, I truly felt like it was a privilege that out of all the people she knows (she doesn't even know me), God chose me to encourage her.  It felt VERY GOOD!!  And  you know what?  After several weeks, it still feels amazing and good!  :)  When I delay or deny God's call, I rob myself of a blessing, too.

Isaiah is an inspiration to me.  I hope God reminds me of this post the next time I am tempted to ignore/deny/delay a response to His call.  I want to be the obedient servant that Isaiah was.

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